Chief Gangsta

"I has been practising all night. Do I still looks like a buffoon?"

I am having grilled fish tonight

The inactivity of this blog pretty much sums it all up - I am thinking of closing it down for good. Why? Because of numerous reasons. I had a somewhat interesting social life, which fully evaporated when I finished writing my thesis and started working elsewhere. I used to feel so passionately about issues, politics and justice, and enjoy finding something exciting in every mundane activity that I would savour typing each letter to create something I feel I can be proud of.

But I have become lazy. Plus, it's more fun reading someone else's blog. Besides, I don't need to write about my pathetic little life anymore; I have Comet, who makes life entertaining just by existing. The computer and keyboard feel ages away.

However, I had some flamers recently. To be honest, I feel rather chuffed to be flamed. I didn't think I was popular or influential enough to evoke such strong sentiments of disgust and disgruntlement in anyone. That is quite an achievement to me, really. Such comments are not published, of course. I am plainly considering the feelings of those who have the balls to throw rocks and then put their hands up; I think they'd be insulted. And nothing screams credibility louder than anonymity in criticising someone else's blog. Oh yeah, uh-huh.

And by this reason alone, I think I might continue writing here, just to entertain a few people.

So beh song

Ohai. I issa bek, and this time, I issa gonna vent.

Last year, I bought myself the LV Vernis Bellevue in amarante to congratulate myself for having lasted 26 years. I am really quite proud of this because it was my first designer handbag and I bought it with my own blood-sweat-and-tears money.

Today, I saw someone carrying the same model, but in red. Needless to say, I saw it. And by that, I mean, I saw red. Yo, bitch, this bag is so last year (I am unabashedly saying this) and I have worn mine until the handles are brown from my hand grease and you're only catching on to its existence now? Where have you been, you katak di bawah beg tangan tempurung? Sei Charn asked me if she has that bitchface, which I confirmed having only looked at the back of her head.

I realise I shouldn't be such an unreasonable snob because this range is considerably affordable (which is why I could actually pay for one) and I didn't exactly copyright it in any way, so, people are allowed to buy it without my permission. Even if it is in shiny garish red which screams "Look at me, look at me" on one's shoulder, as opposed to something petite (like a wallet ensconced in a bag hint hint).

I wouldn't be as affected if Sei Charn had bought the exact same one because, well, we got class yo, and we demonstrate that by holding it and walking around town with slippers, shorts and a tatty t-shirt, and street-drinking. Oh yeah, we just ooze sophistication, uh-huh.

So I guess to prevent this from happening to me again is probably by buying something in the Chanel, Dior and Hermes range. Which also means that the likelihood of seeing a bag I own on someone else is pretty much 100%.

End vent.

The "comeback" no one gives a rat's ass about

"Thanks to me, Malaysians learned a new word - recalcitrant."

Malaysia's most "appreciative" Chinese

"Psst. Have you seen my balls?"

I don't apologise because I am never wrong

"Rupa muka saya biasanya tak sebegini, tapi saya berpenyakit arrogantracist bastarditis."

(I don't usually look like this but I have the disease arrogantracist bastarditis.)

The only DPM in the world who will attend international conferences needing someone to interpret english

"Sedangkan saya menjadi timbalan perdana menteri, saya akan membalas budi rakyat, iaitu pembayar cukai dan gaji saya, dengan mengajar mereka pelajaran moral tentang kerendahan hati."

Note: I wanted to write the caption in English, but that would be uncharacteristic of Malaysia's first, most shameful, non-English-speaking deputy prime minister. The caption means: "Now that I have become the deputy prime minister, I am going to repay the citizens, who are the taxpayers, by teaching them a moral lesson on humility and modesty."